For years, I've used this blog and my zine to detail certain aspects of my last relationship that were mostly negative. As the true Libra that I am, I was determined to bring peace to a dying situationship which eventually turned into a friendship with the occasional marriage proposal. Once I realized it was over, I was so regretful while trying to figure out why the hell I stayed as long as I did.
Bad Communication is No Communication
What I realized was that lazy communication was a major barrier in my last relationship but it wasn't all me. For years, I spent time walking on eggshells about what to bring up or accepting his silence as a way to shut things down. It wasn't until I returned to college that I realized this wasn't the way to grow or prosper in any relationship.
And you have to look at your partner and ask yourself questions like how they communicate with others or do they have problem-solving skills. Looking back, I realized that neither one of us wanted to explore what went wrong. While he took the blame toward the end, it was too little, too late.
Give ME My R-E-S-P-E-C-T
After his blatant disrespect of me nearly a year ago, I looked at many aspects and realized we were doomed to fail. It happens every day, you say? While this may be so, I realized that I was in need of healing ASAP.
So, this led me to create an experiment. While looking at my past relationship from its inception to the final curtain, I realized that my rose-colored glasses were in need of cleaning. Although I knew my dating options were limited, I wanted to reclaim my somewhat-pleasant self.
Why I Wrote this Book
I Really...Truly Hate My Ex!!! was a true labor of love. I realized that many of us get our relationship habits from our immediate families or worse...the media. Once, my ex used a Tyler Perry move (to his credit, it was one of the better ones as far as writing and quality go) to demonstrate how a relationship works.
After I finished laughing, I realized the joke was on me!
Being in a place where I could write down important details and other aspects, it made perfect sense why things never worked out. Here are some dreadful examples that many people deal with daily.
- He couldn't decide whether he wanted me fat or not fat. The former, of course, reduced the competition from other prospects. Once he realized I could cook, his selection of Southern delectable made it impossible to stay in the misses' clothing section.
- Career advancement made things awkward. The thing is, advancement leads to more money and in a shared household, this should be excellent. However, if you're a woman of color, you've bruised his widdle ego by going back to school or starting a business instead of putting on a paper hat for extra change.
- You did something really awesome but they're quick to shut down your parade. Hell, you've been grinding for a minute, and now's the time to celebrate. But there's that super-fragile ego again, which is not taking me to the poorhouse. Have fun with your ramen noodles, Negative Neddy!
Every Relationship Has Bumps But...
This book will help you see what's ahead because there's no judgment. When you write down the pros and cons in this printable book, you'll see what you're dealing with. Maybe you need to change your communication style, try to be more understanding and willing to listen. Or just leave.
Sometimes you know that your final exit is long overdue. The mistake some people make when they've overstayed is carrying their grief into the next relationship. Thing is, if the next person really cares about you, you're in for a harsh reality. Otherwise, you've just wasted your time and money on dating because going out is supposed to be fun. Trust me, dealing with the pain early on is better than paying a prostitute later (I'm too cheap for that, BTW).
Get I Really...Truly Hate My Ex!!! today and purge those negative feelings instead of stuffing your face full of desserts. Even if you don't find a new mate, you'll have a new perspective on relationships in general.